I'd like to apologize for being a liar. I know I said I'd write before I left for Italy, but life really got busy for awhile there and to be perfectly honest, I just didn't feel like doing it. Now I know it's been awhile since I wrote about what's going on, so I'll do my best to remember everything that's happened.
After I got back from Hannover I was treated to dinner by my host mother's mother. We went to Block House, which is a steak house in our neighborhood. It was the first steak I'd had in nine months and it was delicious. I had a great time with my host family and felt really honored that they invited me along to what was obviously a family dinner. And I think it was good timing because even though being an au pair can by super hard and my kids can sometimes drive me right up a wall, it's afternoons like that one that remind how me how lucky I am to be here. I really am grateful that I was placed with a family that I get along with so well. We don't agree on everything, but all the most important things are there, something I can't say I've seen in every au pair/host family relationship. And sometimes I even get days like yesterday, when both kids were so perfectly well behaved for me and I got to enjoy a fun afternoon teaching my four year old how to play War and Go Fish. As much as I've been suffering through homesickness and maybe not always seemed as grateful as I should these last few weeks, I do appreciate everything they've done for me and will miss them a lot when I go home.
Recently, there have been times where the homesickness has really threatened to overwhelm me. I think there are three major reasons for that. The first is the most obvious. I've been here almost ten months now. That's a long time to be away from everything and everyone that I love and that is so familiar and so easy. The second reason is that they've started putting out Christmas stuff here and in my head I equate Christmas this year with going home. And I won't really get Halloween or Thanksgiving, not like at home, so I don't even have those holidays to distract myself with. I know I've still got just over two months until I leave, but it's hard to remember that when all that holiday cheer is starting to pop up everywhere I turn. And the third reason is that I'm alone all of a sudden. Every friend that I've made here has suddenly up and left. I still know people of course and I go out from time to time and socialize, but all of the people that I really considered to be good friends have suddenly up and left. It's a little disheartening and has left me feeling a bit abandoned, to be honest.
My best friend though, I did get to see her a few weeks ago. She came to stay with me for two nights while she was in Berlin working out visa issues. It was so great and when she got here I realized that I hadn't really had a chance to just cut loose and laugh since she'd left over a month ago. I also got to spend the last week with her touring Italy, something I'll be sure to post about next. And now she'll be back in Berlin for a final time in just another two weeks. I seriously can't wait until she gets here. We might actually get to have a decent Halloween celebration AND we're going to Amsterdam for four days. It's my second to last trip and I'm really super excited about it.
So what other things have I done? I went to a going away party and an au pair dinner. I changed a record seven diapers in just 15 minutes at the Kita. My host mom has been working lots and therefore so have I. I've also been doing some side jobs to save up money for home. Speaking of money, I went to Italy and spent way too much. And tomorrow I'm going to an au pair meeting with girls from my agency. We're going to take a tour of the Berlin Festival of Lights. It should be super pretty and I'm excited to see it.
I guess I don't have much else to say. I think that's ok though, because I don't think any of you reading this are really interested in hearing my every day to day action. So I'm just posting to let you know I'm ok. I'm enjoying the rest of my time here, but also really looking forward to coming home. I can't wait to see everybody and to just be home again.
Here's today's song. Thanks to Ben for finally helping me get the Christmas music out of my head for a little while. Space Oddity by David Bowie
P.S. I do love that Bowie. In all his androgynous wonder. We'll always have Berlin in common :)
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